i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize