You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He better not be in your backpack
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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