imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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