Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
