yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
