I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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