Who did Billy Mays play for?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
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