when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
