is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
