I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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