omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
