Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
