I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
