So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
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