Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
