I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
