I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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