If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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