my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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