1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
