I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
