We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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