Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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