dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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