your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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