brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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