how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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