Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
