I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I touched a dick in church today
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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