elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
