So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
