At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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