dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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