My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
