I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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