Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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