im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
