OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
