There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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