it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
