How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so let's talk penis.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
