No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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