I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
