doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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