yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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