You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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