Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
