Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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