Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
