Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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