Moan for me like Helen Keller
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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