I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize