If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
