I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Randomize
