We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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