we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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