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I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
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