The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.