oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed