Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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