and you said cock pushups were impossible
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
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Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
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My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"