literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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