he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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