we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
