Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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