oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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