I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
