at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
