I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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